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Class 6(66)
Deftones: White pony
18/01/13 || BamaHammer
Introduction
Everyone loves “White penis” (There. Got the penis joke out of the way in the first sentence, ass-hats). Back in 2000, Deftones were a band that a vast majority of the music-consuming public considered to be really fucken heavy. They were also a band that was considered to be really fucken good. Hell, these guys even won a Grammy Award for Best Metal Performance for the song “Elite”, which comes right off this here platinum-selling album. So clearly, we’re talking about some popular shit here, ladies and sperms.
“White pony”, for me, has always held a special place in my blackend kvlt heart right next to The Haunted’s “The dead eye” (bear with me) just because of the psychological effect the tunes here have on me. Both of those albums, for some reason, make me feel like I’m listening to the soundtrack from the mind of a serial murderer while he sits in a stranger’s coat closet and thinks about his day while he waits for the victim to come home from bingo night at the Y. The music on both are not remotely brutal or t00 extreme in any way really, but the whole package just comes off as a slightly fucked up experience. And I love it.
Songwriting
9. As far as songwriting goes, Deftones have never been a band to offer up complex song structures that demand the listener to strap up his headphones in order to receive the full effect. They’re just a heavy band that writes heavy, groovy shit. The riffs are just an onslaught of drop D retard riff after drop D retard riff, but they’re just catchy as hell. Get this. This album is 11 tracks in length. Of the 11 tracks, I absolutely love 7 of them, I really, really like 3 of them, and just semi-dig 1 of them. That’s a pretty fucken ace ratio right there.
Production
7,5. I’ve always felt like this album had the sound of brushed aluminum that’s been sitting outside in the rain or some shit. I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s not shiny or anything close to what you’d want your record to sound like, but it just fits what Deftones do so well. It simply sounds like a big slab of wet metal. The guitars have almost too much filth and distortion piled on. The drums sound like they were recorded in an abandoned church half the time. The bass is almost transparent. I almost think that the vocals have an old shitty Boss DS-1 running on them. It’s just a mess. And it’s fantastic.
Guitars
8. Stephen Carpenter. The guy plays riffs. Lots of them. Many of them sound similar, yet unique. He also loves drop-tuning everything. The difference between Deftones and any other run-of-the-mill quasi-nu alternative metal band that was shat out in the ’90s, I believe, was the riffing. It’s not the stereotypical “jumpdafuckup” nu metal riffing that Korn and Limp Bizkit beat into the ground, but rather a catchy, groovy, melodic style that’s infinitely heavier and more massive. Nothing you hear is exceptionally technical or challenging in any way, and you’d be hard pressed not to be able to figure out every riff on a guitar in a few minutes, but much of what you hear is the prime pinnacle of catchy, groovy riffs. The guitars reach a climax, I would say, in “Knife Prty”, primarily during the chorus. The riffing underneath the soaring vocals is impressive and epic.
Vocals
9. Much like Layne Staley, Billy Corgan, Eddie Vedder, or Chris Cornell, Chino Moreno possesses one of those distinct magical voices of my youth that can take me to a state of nostalgic bliss and resurrect long dead memories of late nights filled with shenanigans and stereos (at least for a little while) and remind me how truly fun life once was. Chino always had the ability to take you on an emotional roller coaster from verse to verse with his gifts and talents. “Digital Bath” is a prime example of his range and his ability to create a truly haunting atmosphere. He whispers. He screams. He wails. It’s magical.
Bonus point here for an appearance by Maynard James Keenan (of Tool, noobs) on “Passenger” as well. More bonus points for whatever is going on with the apparent “vocals through a whammy pedal” solo in “Knife Prty”.
Bass
5. Chi Cheng plays ze bass. I know because I’ve seen him do it. I don’t necessarily hear him playing very often, but he tries. The truth is that the bass is blurred out of the existence on this and every Deftones release just because of the the sheer weight of the guitars that’s already in place and the fact that the bass never does anything remotely noteworthy.
Drums
7,5. Abe Cunningham (and his too-tight snare) has always been a groovy ass drummer who’s solid as a rock, but he’s never done anything that sets himself apart from everyone else out there that makes you scream “That’s Abe Fucken Cunningham!” whenever you hear him. He handles things pretty well despite never stepping out on a limb to go for speed or anything particularly challenging. He does sound like he pounds with some fucken authority though. Listen to the beating the skins take on “Elite” or “Korea”. Ouch.
Lyrics
8,5. To me, this is where things get dark. I absolutely love lyrics that make me feel like I’m hearing the thoughts of some sociopath. Let’s check out a few.
Here’s a taste of the opener:
She pops the trunk, and she removes me.
The machine takes pictures of us, and my jaw and my teeth hurt.
I’m choking from gnawing on the ball.
And just before I come to, move to the back of the car.
She made me touch the machine. New murderer.
Fuck ‘em. First untie me. Untie me for now.
You said you would right? And you were right.
Soon I’ll let you go, soon I’ll let you go.
What the fuck is going on here. Sounds like some good ol’ fashioned ball-gag anal rape/murder in the back of a car to me. Good times. What else we got?
Here’s the choruse from “Knife Prty” (whose title could really use a vowel):
Go get your knife, go get your knife, and come in.
Go get your knife, go get your knife, and lay down.
Go get your knife, go get your knife. Can’t feel a thing.
Go get your knife, go get your knife, and kiss me.
Yes, chicks dig knives. Am I right, all you fifth-level half-elf thieves out there? I’m right.
I think you get the picture. Granted all the lyrics aren’t that cool. I’ve never really dug the high-school-drama-bullshit lyrics to “Pink Maggit” or “Teenager”, but the rest of the album is pretty emotional and thought-provoking at the very least.
Cover art
2. The thoughts of a graphic designer, circa 2000: I need to make that Deftones cover for “White horse” or whatever the fuck it was they asked me to make. Probably shouldn’t have stayed up so late on Starcraft. Fuck. Hmmm. Got it! Let me open up my trusty MS Paint. Ok, where are you, paint bucket. There you are. Silver gray color. Nice. Let’s see, I need an image of a running horse. No, no, a silhouette of a running horse. I’m a fucken genius. Thank you, Google. Fucken sweet. Done. I rule. Back to my Protoss campaign, bitches.
Logo
N/A. “Fuck you,” said the graphic designer.
Booklet
6. Lyrics. Photos. Long gatefold. This was pretty much the standard criteria for all CD booklets produced from 1995-2000. It meets those criteria, but really and truly does nothing else for me.
Overall and ending rant
This is clearly an album that is better than the sum of its parts. It’s also arguably one of the best albums of the 2000s, regardless of genre. It’s plenty heavy enough to appeal to fans of brutal metal, yet it’s catchy and groovy enough to be embraced and enjoyed by people who don’t even have death metal on their radar. Admittedly, I’ve listened to this album in its entirety more than most albums in my collection. It’s that good.
- Information
- Released: 2000
- Label: Maverick
- Website: www.deftones.com
- Band
- Chino Moreno: vocals, guitar
- Stephen Carpenter: guitar
- Chi Cheng: bass
- Frank Delgado: samples, keyboards
- Abe Cunningham: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Feiticeira
- 02. Digital Bath
- 03. Elite
- 04. Rx Queen
- 05. Street Carp
- 06. Teenager
- 07. Knife Prty
- 08. Korea
- 09. Passenger
- 10. Change (In the House of Flies)
- 11. Pink Maggit
